I have recently fallen into a confusing state of mind. One that I would rather not call depression, but it feels a lot like it. I don’t know exactly if I can call it that since I know people who have/had been depressed and wouldn’t want to call this anything more than it actually is.
I generally dislike appearing sad in public or with friends and family so I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t know where this is all coming from. I also don’t know why I feel this way so I can’t really respond if they do ask me that question. I guess I have always thought of sadness as such an unattractive quality. As I type that sentence, I already see a problem - I always concern myself with what appears to be attractive or unattractive in front of other people. I don’t know why. Maybe I’m just built that way (maybe I should start building myself up differently).
But I guess the most alarming thing for me is I feel helpless all the time even when I know I shouldn’t. I have this overwhelming need to always be with other people even if they’re just right there in the corner minding their own business or at least if I know I can have easy access to a physical human connection whenever I please. Like, it helps if I have plans during the day or if I’m out with friends just sitting down and smoking cigarettes. The important thing is for me to have access to people I care about on a daily basis.
This is very new to me because I have always liked being alone. What frightens me, perhaps, is the idea that maybe I am no longer comfortable in my own skin. But at the same time, I would hate to be dependent on other people and I apologize to anyone in particular if I have made [you] feel that way. I would hate to go into detail, but I have recently craved for attention from a select number of people because I simply enjoy their company. All the while (now realizing) that I have been very selfish. I am sure they have their own set of things to problematize. I am sure they have other friends, and even maybe they don’t enjoy my company as much as I enjoy theirs. And that’s okay.
Everything is all jumbled up inside my head and I wish I could share it with someone but I can’t when I know I probably mean that much to them. I really would rather not burden anyone. I know this may sound like I have very little regard for my own well-being (or have very low self worth), but I don’t. It’s just the truth for me. It is rare for anyone to encounter people who will treat you like you actually mean something to them. I know I’m toying with things in my head which I have no control over, but I don’t know. I really don’t know.
Anyway, I hope I change soon because all of this is driving me crazy.
If only all men were like this.
If men were all like this the world population rate would be so slow
There are guys like this you’re just too busy putting them in the fucking friend zone to see that
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Oh hell no you better listen the fuck up dickwads
I was about to go to sleep and then this bullshit showed up on my dash and you have all earned yourselves fedoras so sit down, shut up, and educate your stupid asses.
“Putting them in the friendzone”? I’m sorry did you mean “I was nice to a girl and I cared about her and I’m bitter because she didn’t want me back?” Or was it “I believe that if I love another person they’re a bitch for just wanting to be friends.” Perhaps it was “I treated her (or pretended to, rather) like a person instead of a sexual object and now she’s not being a sexual object for me like I deserve.” No, wait, it’s “friendship with a girl makes me angry because I’m a self-entitled shithead who feels like if I want to be with a girl she has to accept that regardless of her feelings or else she’s a total bitch.”
The friendzone is the concept that a girl wanting to be your friend is somehow this inherently awful thing. Like, wow, did it occur to you that she thought you were, I dunno, FRIENDS? Did it occur to you that maybe she doesn’t feel romantically towards you but she still wants you to be part of her life because she thinks you’re a great person? I mean, if this is your reaction you’re wrong, because if you think friendzoning is a thing then clearly you’re a fucktrumpet but that’s beside the point.
Women are not machines you put niceness coins into until sex comes out. There are no punchcards to fill out to get to sex that you are apparently entitled to.
There is no friendzone, there are only people who don’t know how to behave like they’re not five-year-olds who don’t know how to take “no” for an answer.
Now I’m going to sleep. Disrespectful misogynistic asswagons.
Wow. Fucktrumpet, Asswagons? You are amazing at swearing. Like seriously amazing.
Women are not machines you put niceness coins into until sex comes out.
HOLY FUCK I LOVE YOUeveryone better read that long amazing comment!!!!!!!
OMG REBLOGGING FOR THAT COMMENT/SPEECH/GENIUS OMFG I LOVE YOU
Tentacle arm? Yes, please.